Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Spring Fever

I have a serious case of spring fever. The weather is starting to turn. More sun, a bit higher temps. The snow is melting and the birds are chirping! Days are getting longer!! The 1st Tiger's preseason game is today and that just brings joy to my baseball-lovin heart!

I lost track of what diet day this is. It is going well. I'm following WW and doing my Biggest Loser game. Its all about eating well and excercise. Duh. Everyones knows that. So why is it so hard!? I can do this. I HAVE to do this for my daughter! I HAVE to do this for my next child! I have to do this for my husband, too. I have to do this for ME.

And I will...

One day at a time.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Day 2...........
I'm really struggling today. I think its hormones. Finally getting back to normal after delivering Elizabeth 10 months ago! I'm bloated too, so that makes sense. Just have to remember to keep it in perspective. When I'm crying at 4:30 in the morning and feeling like no one loves me and my marriage is falling apart and my step son is crappy....just have to remember that its all in my head and its the hormones talking. Ridiculous....stupid hormones. I keep feeling like I think about my husband, step son, daughter, clients, our house, animals at all times every day and am always making sure they have what they need. But who is thinking about me and making sure I have what I need? Well, that would be no one. Welcome to motherhood I guess. I wish my husband understood this. This is his job.

I also keep having very selfish feelings about KJ. It feels like I'm giving up what I have wanted. Brad and I had a goal of being out of our house by the time Elizabeth goes to kindergarten (five years). And I want another baby. Now that KJ is here, Brad feels so strongly that we need a new house. And because we can't get a new house right now due to finances he's saying no way can we have another baby. I'm going to be 34. Not like I can wait forever to have another baby. So another year until we get a new house at least. Then TTC, go through pregnancy. I will be 36 at the earliest and Brad will be 44. I DON'T WANT TO WAIT. What's wrong with being a little cramped for a few months?

Why are we changing the plan for a kid who will be around for another year and then most likely off to college?

So what if I'm being selfish? I'm being honest. And I'm human. Humans are selfish. I feel like I'm giving up a 2nd child for a child who isn't even mine.

What ev.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Day 1 is a success. Its hard though. Carbs fill my belly. My belly does not like to be hungry. I'm tracking my food on weight watchers. I just had a very delicious snack of whole wheat bread and peanut butter. High protein and fiber and I really don't know about carbs but I frankly didn't care. I did well all day so I splurged. Maybe anyway.

I have to do this for my daughter. She needs to learn by her mom's example about health and wellness.
Day 1: I'm trying to decrease my carbs. Protein and fruits/veggies. It is hard....

Breakfast - coffee, banana, apple

Lunch - salad with chicken, cheese, olive oil and salsa. That was good, but I'm hungry 1 hour later. I forgot my snacks for this afternoon. Probably will rely on a cup of coffee to stave off the hunger. I must need more protein so maybe I'll hard boils some eggs and include that with my salad. Need some nuts or something. This sucks.
OK so my blog name is ridiculous. I know. But I couldn't think of a name so I typed "Kitty" into google and this popped up. I giggled it off as "veto" but then thought about it. Appropriate? My life lately seems to run between crappy (litter) and yummy (cake) with nothing in between so why not?

My main reason for blogging is I think maybe it might help me reach a healthier weight. Nothing as worked yet. It can't hurt. Maybe putting my struggle in writing will invoke some feeling of priority. We'll see....

I want to lose 20 lbs.

Day 1.

I'm hungry.